Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Internet Dating in Saudi Arabia


In Saudi Arabia, the Islamic faith is still taken very seriously, in particular in areas like Abha. Here, everything stops five times every day, as every Muslim in the world turns towards Mecca to pray.

So-called mutaweens, essentially religious policemen, empowered by the Commission promoting virtue and preventing vice, are ever present to enforce these rules.

From dress code to both religious and gender segregation, traditions are still very much part even of today's otherwise very modern Saudi life. Foreign women are equally expected to wear the abaya, a cloak type floor length over-garment, although they do not have to wear the veils usually accompanying Arab women's abayas.

Shops, cafes and even branches of banks are segregated into so-called singles sections, for men only, and areas for families or unaccompanied women. This, of course, makes it almost impossible for young people to meet.

Dating is consequently also not possible. While families living within various Western communities are often a little more relaxed in the adherence to these rules, often allowing engaged young couples to go out together in groups, here, this can not be done. Breaking the rules can have severe consequences, from fines to lashes, imprisonment or even stoning to death.

While couples are still able to meet in the presence of their families, they usually have very few opportunities to get to talk and know one another between their first meeting and the day they are married.

Strict as the rules are, Internet dating is widely regarded as acceptable, as the young people don't actually meet in person and are therefore not likely to become victims of their physical desires.

As such, it is possible, after getting parental approval, for young people to meet up and talk to each other for some time before they meet in person and ultimately get married. It should be remembered that muslim dating is not regarded as fun, but as a serious search for a spouse.

When they 'date', the ultimate goal is to marry the person they are dating, unlike the type of dating teenagers in Western societies are used to. Even once couples are engaged, they still do not spend time in each other's company without a chaperone.

This may sound incredibly wrong to those not of the Muslim faith, but this tradition does seem to work well, as Arab weddings usually end in lasting marriages. This is being credited to the fact that couples get married out of a deep understanding, as opposed to being guided by lustful desires.

How do Asian Muslims find a Spouse?


Large parts of Asia are predominantly Muslim. Here, the same Islamic laws and rules apply to everyday life and activities as anywhere within the Islamic world.

Young Asian Muslims, like Muslim singles in any other part of the world, for instance, do not get involved in relationships to decide whether a person is going to be a potential life-partner.

For them, relationships between the opposite sexes outside their families or marriage are taboo. As a result, they are not able to date like teenagers in societies of other faiths.

So how is it possible for a Muslim in Asia to find a husband or wife? The process is a complicated one, and often begins at a young age by making friendships of the same sex. These friendships are cultivated and preserved throughout people's lives, ultimately providing a network of familiar families.
   When a son or daughter reaches the age to be married, their family will suggest a list of possible singles from this network. One or both parents will then contact the family of the most likely candidates and arrange an initial meeting.

At this meeting the young people are allowed to interact within a supervised setting. If they get on and agree to be married to each other, further such meetings will be arranged and engagements and weddings are typically arranged very quickly.

The problem is, that although they will get to know one another to a certain extent, a deep understanding and real compatibility are rarely achieved before the marriage ceremony has taken place.

Fortunately, technology is now changing this. Alnaddy is an Internet dating facility where young Muslim singles are able to select an appropriate spouse from a much broader range of choices, while also being given much more time and space to compare views, feelings and general outlook on life before committing themselves to a life-long relationship.

It can be safely said that this very modern part of life has become an acceptable part of ancient Islamic tradition. Because couples are not in any danger of falling prey to their desires, many families allow them to have their conversations in privacy, at least after a while.

Given that the person a relationship is thus formed with is accepted by the family as suitable, they will eventually meet, with their families present, and the usual arrangements for their engagement and ultimately marriage will be made.

Muslim singles around all of Asia are now taking advantage of this excellent service, and many happy marriages have been entered into as a result.

Being a young Muslim in the United Kingdom


A young Muslim in United Kingdom cities faces a whole range of difficulties. Apart from having to deal with the cultural differences if they have just moved into the country, even for those born within the UK, life can be extremely frustrating and at times utterly confusing.

Often part of very strict families, they are rarely permitted to take part in many activities English teenagers take for granted. Although many families that have lived here for years are much more relaxed about the rules in general, some things are out of the question, especially for ,muslim girls.

The role of the females within a family are often viewed very differently, and while boys generally have the ability to blend in much better through clothing and also enjoy a lot more freedom as a whole, girls are usually watched much more closely and are also expected to wear certain traditional garments. 
This often makes them feel like outsiders, while at the same time inducing a lot of unwelcome and often embarrassing questions, as well as sometimes misplaced pity when their friends at school misread certain Muslim traditions as oppression.

Dating in particular presents a problem and often a point of serious arguments between teenagers and their parents. According to Islamic law, dating as English teenagers know it is not allowed. While families are aware that they can not keep their daughters from having to interact with boys at school, university or work, they will not allow them to mingle, in particular alone, with them.

Friendships with members of the opposite sex are actively discouraged by most families, making it very difficult, if not impossible for individuals to find someone they can love and wish to spend the rest of their life with.

As it is, most families have readily embraced modern technology, including computers and the Internet as part of their every day lives. This enables young Muslims to engage in Internet dating, a facility offered by Alnaddy, among others, and something few parents object to.

Because they are not actually in physical contact with the people they talk to, parents usually happily approve this and, after checking out any individual their daughter or son wishes to communicate with, often even leave them to get on with it without continually looking over their shoulder.

This tends to generally improve parent/ child relationships, while simultaneously enabling the young singles to find the person they are compatible to and discover much about a potential future spouse before they actually meet them and get married.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Internet Dating equals Dating without Fear of Persecution


Being an Arab in UK or European cities is bad enough for young people, as they struggle to come to terms with the differences in the values they have learned at home and the very different values and views of their peer groups.

In the United States, they are greeted with fear and suspicion to add to their already substantial cultural confusion. In particular since the 9/11 events, wrongful persecution has often become part of their daily lives.

Going out in groups, as they are required to do when finally old enough to be dating - which is very different to how Western dating is viewed - they often almost take their lives into their hands. In Islamic tradition, young people are not permitted to date as such. 


This is why many people believe that a zawag (marriage in Arabic) is always arranged, often causing young people to have to deal with misplaced pity and cries for liberation from their peers. As it stands, they do usually have the freedom to choose their own spouses and to meet them before marriage in most cases.

What they are not permitted to do is to date before they are old enough to consider marriage or to meet alone. Once they have gained parental approval to meet and date, usually regarded as a precursor to marriage, as opposed to the casual dating in Western societies, they will initially meet with parents or other senior members of the family being present as well.

Typically, these first few meetings will take place with both families present. Questions like how the young man intends to support family, dowries, children and more will be discussed at such meetings. As soon as both families are agreed and the couple decide they do want to get married, they get engaged.